We are days away from the start of the 2023 NFL season, which means you know what time it is. That’s right; it’s time for me to break out my crystal ball and look into the future to tell you how things will play out and give you my 2023 NFL season predictions. (Hey, I had Philadelphia winning the NFC and losing in the Super Bowl last year, so sometimes these picks are accurate.)
Regarding the Dolphins, I think this is the season where the Dolphins finally win a playoff game. And YES, they also will win the AFC East. I see Tua starting at least 14 games in the regular season; Tyreek Hill will have 2,000+ receiving yards, and Jaelan Phillips will have 10+ sacks. And with all of these individual accomplishments, the team accomplishments will follow. This is the year Miami returns to the conversation of the NFL elite!
My picks and predictions last season were good but could be better. And to correct that problem, I have a brand-new crystal ball. That’s right, I now have the Quartz Clear Crystal Super-Sphere 9400, the Cadillac of Crystal balls. And what I am seeing for the upcoming 2023 season is coming in very clear.
Oh yes, my crystal ball never lies…. never!
AFC East
Miami: The offense in year 2 of the same system should be more cohesive. The running back room scares me as it’s not very good, but I expect a late October addition to fix that. Vic Fangio will have the defense improved over previous seasons, although it may take till October or November before they start to gel. They are due to win the AFC East, and this is the year they do it.
Buffalo (WILD CARD): I think the Bills get off to a fast start in the regular season with a soft schedule in Sep/October. Then they come back to earth in Nov/December. But this is still a very good team.
NY Jets (WILD CARD): The Jets are better, they really are. But this is still a very young team; I think the head coach is in way over his head, and I see a roller coaster of a season for the Jets. They may be one year away from being true contenders.
New England: No surprise here; they have fallen off the mountaintop, and it was a hard fall.
AFC North
Cincinnati: This may be Cincinnati’s year; they are that good, have an elite offense, the best WR room in the NFL, and they fixed the offensive line. The defense is solid, and they have “big game” experience, playing in multiple conference championship games and a Super Bowl.
Cleveland (WILD CARD): I know nobody wants to root for Watson, but put that stuff to the side and just look at this from a football standpoint. He is a great QB who is now fully back, has a top offensive line, a top running game, top pass rusher on defense; this team has a lot of pieces in place to win big—a sleeper team. Low-key, they are one of the best rosters in the NFL.
Baltimore: The coaching here is top-notch, and Lamar is top-notch…I just don’t like the offensive weapons. And this is an offensive league. There is going to be a good team or two that doesn’t make the playoffs; here is one of them.
Pittsburgh: They are in a rough division, so I see them as a last-place team. This may be the best 6 or 7-win team in NFL history.
AFC South
Jacksonville: This division stinks. I’m not even sure Jacksonville is all that good, but someone has to win it. So….yeah, Jacksonville will host a playoff game. Congrats.
Tennessee: I can’t believe Ryan Tannehill is still a starting quarterback in this league. If they are struggling come the trade deadline, I could see a total fire sale here.
Indianapolis: Total rebuilding year, they know it. They are prepared for it. It’s going to be a struggle.
Houston: This roster is dreadful. Like, really, really bad. And they can’t tank cause they already traded away their 1st round draft pick for next year.
AFC West
Kansas City: They are still the kings of the AFC West, and it isn’t even close.
LA Chargers: Remember when I said there will be a couple of good teams in the AFC who will miss the playoffs?! Baltimore is one; the Chargers are the other, and it’s because their head coach is incompetent.
Denver: Sean Payton is good, and the Broncos will be better. But they don’t have the horses (no pun intended) to compete with KC and LAC.
Las Vegas: Josh McDaniels is a bad head coach. JimmyG has seen his best days. This is another team that is gonna be in store for a very looooooong season.
NFC East
Philadelphia: Hurts made one mistake in the Super Bowl last year, or they probably would have won. They are on a mission; Hurts will take it up a level. Philly is loaded.
Dallas (WILD CARD): This team really does nothing for me. They aren’t bad. They aren’t great. They are….OK. Like just OK. But the NFC is weak, so OK gives them a chance.
NY Giants: Like Dallas, not awful, but not great. But they have no weapons in that passing game, and this is a passing league. This team is built for 1983 style of football, and if it were 1983, I would love them. But it’s 2023, so they come in 3rd place.
Washington: New Owner, New quarterback,….still a last-place team.
NFC North
Green Bay: Some may see this as a shocker, but I don’t. Good organizations don’t fade off into the sunset overnight. Hell, even New England made the playoffs the year after Brady left. I’m not crazy about this division, and I think Jordan Love will be “good enough.”
Detroit (WILD CARD): They are better, they are good, they will make the playoffs. But the hype around Detroit is way way too much like Jets-level hype, and it’s still the friggin Lions. I have never seen an organization celebrate not making the playoffs more for an entire offseason than the Lions just did. Ok, you don’t totally suck but don’t hold a parade either cause there is still a long way to go before you become respectable.
Minnesota: Every year when I do this dopey crystal ball article, I have the Vikings in the playoffs or the NFC title game, and they always burn me. Well, not this year. Have fun in 3rd place!
Chicago: I like Justin Fields, and they gave him better WRs to throw to, but overall, this team has a lot of flaws.
NFC South
New Orleans: God-awful division; they should go 6-0 in it. Look at the rest of their schedule; they face few good quarterbacks, if any. Derrick Carr is an upgrade at QB; they have weapons on offense. New Orleans may surprise this year.
Carolina: Bryce Young will have a good season; the Panthers are on the come. But it’s probably a year or two away.
Atlanta: Desmond Ridder, nuff said. I’m not a believer… at all.
Tampa Bay: Baker Mayfield isn’t as bad as some make him out to be, but he also isn’t good. Good god, this division is awful; it really is.
NFC South
San Francisco: They are the second-best team in the NFC, and it’s amazing because their quarterback depth chart is not good. Brock Purdy may be Skylar Thompson, but he has so much talent around him it somehow works.
Seattle (WILD CARD): Kinda like last year, not great, not bad…a 7th seed in the playoffs.
LA Rams: This is their punishment for going ALL IN to win a Super Bowl, about 3 or 4 years of NFL hell. But at least they can say they recently won a Super Bowl, so I doubt any Rams fans are complaining these days.
Arizona: With the 1st pick in the 2024 NFL Draft (and probably the 2nd pick as well cause Houston sucks)
AFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME: Cincinnati over Kansas City
NFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME: Philadelphia over New Orleans
SUPER BOWL: Philadelphia Over Cincinnati
Super Bowl MVP: Jalen Hurts
MVP: Jalen Hurts
Coach of the Year: Zac Taylor
Offensive Rookie Of the Year: Jordan Addison
Defensive Rookie Of The Year: Will Anderson JR
Those are my 2023 NFL Season Predictions. Hopefully, my crystal ball will make me look brilliant and not like a fool when all is said and done. Enjoy the 2023 NFL Season everyone!
